doing what I do

Where is the time going? Seriously. Posting weekly really makes the time go crazy fast. Before I know it, it's time to post again. But it's all good. The material keeps a comin' =)

The love between my kids really softens my icy heart. Angus tells everyone multiple times a day that he loves them. Well, accept Winter because he can't say her name. But I'm sure he loves her. 

It's nice when Dan is home. We're still outnumbered but not as much.

You will find Angus naked most of the time because he takes his underwear off to go pee and leaves them off and I don't even notice he's naked from the waste down until someone comes over and I'm like, Oh sorry, we're potty training. 

Ugh funny but not funny story about that. So, Angus has been doing really well. No accidents really. So I let him get cozy in our bed and watch a truck show. Dan thought I was crazy to let him hang out in our bed without a pull-up but I assured him he would be fine and if anything happened I would wash the sheets and blankets and he wouldn't even notice.

Of course he peed and it made a giant wet spot on both sheets and three blankets and the waterproof mattress pad. (Thank goodness for that)  I said, "Angus do you have to go peepee??" He replied, "I did!" and proceeded to watch his show. I shrieked and investigated and sure enough, he did. The last blanket is washing as we speak. I like to sleep with the window open a little bit, even in the winter time, hence the 3 blankets.

Celebrating Mardis Gras. 

I'm really kind of bummed that Angus has such a strong opinion about his pants. They must be comfortable. And buttons and zippers are the enemy. So he prefers jammies. And "mimmon" ones are his faves these days. I used to be able to dress him up so cute... 

He is the first one of my kids to stick to his guns so hard that he would rather be spanked 10 times than do something he doesn't want to do. I often have to pin him down into his car seat and strap him in while he screams because he doesn't feel like going anywhere and would prefer to go for a bike ride. He is strong willed, super loving and very emotional. But cute. There's that.

These two... 

I found this unlikely pair in the same bed. Usually Mya has no patience for the littles, especially at night. And I have no idea where this zebra face mask came from.

This is her fave hairdo these days. So cute. 

People frequently ask me how I'm able to handle four kids. These are usually people with no kids or one or two. In my mom's generation, people had four kids all the time. It wasn't a big deal. But for some reason it's a lot these days. I think I have it pretty good. My husband helps a ton when he's not at work, we have a nice home and a dependable car and we're usually doing okay in the financial department. Thanks Honey <3 So my life is easy when you look at the rest of the world. And also, I have Jesus.

But I was thinking about how I've changed from having one and two kids, to three and four. Slowly, and I'm not sure when it happened, I stopped caring about what my life was supposed to look like. How my kids were supposed to look, how my marriage was supposed to look, and how my parenting was supposed to look. I do what I do and I don't really care if it is what others think I should do. I've let go of normal. And what is expected.

By nature I'm a nice girl without any strong opinions. I'm on the fence about a lot of things and often can see both sides of the argument. I'm a people pleaser and I don't like conflict. So this type of parenting is not in my nature. But I guess it developed out of necessity. 

There's no way to do this raising kids thing unless you do it the way that is best for your family unapologetically. If you simply let go of the things that make your life hard and embrace the things that make your life easier, it really helps. 

Things like pacifiers, putting the kids to bed with a bottle, letting my 5 year old walk down to her friend's house by herself, spanking my kids, giving them freedom to make choices. There is a way to respect others and respect your way to raise your kids at the same time. With all the different personalities of parents and children, there is no way two families can apply the same rules to their families. You can parent in similar ways, but there are still going to be many differences when you compare two homes and the way they work.

I remember what it was like to have my first baby. I remember my mentality. And so I can see where a mom would disapprove with the amount of TV I let my kids watch or shake her head when I grab a box of crackers off the shelf at Target and give some to my fussy two year old.

I know that most moms do a lot for their kids. And that's because they love them of course. I love my kids too but I don't do a whole lot for them. Mya (8) and Winter (7) pretty much do everything themselves. And that is because I simply don't have time to do it. They bathe themselves. I have no idea what parts they're washing but I'm sure it's good enough. They get ready for school by themselves. They get dressed, do their own hair, make their lunch and eat breakfast. And sometimes they even make dinner. They pick up the whole downstairs area daily. They clean their rooms. Not willingly of course but it gets done. They can both operate the stove, microwave and toaster oven all by themselves. I dated a guy that didn't know how to scramble an egg in his mid 20's. My 7 year old makes a mean scrambled egg. And she'll have some waffles going in the toaster oven and cut up some strawberries while she's at it.

When I don't want to go to a party or a play date or a night with the girls, I simply say, no, I can't right now. How freeing is that. And it's true. I can't do all the parties, play dates and nights out. And that's totally fine with me. 

So, basically, the key to having four kids (or 5 like my friends the Andersons and the Higerds down the street) and not going insane is learning to say no. No we can't go to Johnny's birthday party. No, I can't chaperone your field tip. No, we can't join Red Dragon Karate. No, I won't make your lunch for you when you are perfectly capable, and you have plenty of time to do it since you wake up at 5:30AM. No, you can't stay up late because you have school in the morning. And no, I don't want to go out. I want to watch a movie in bed and fall asleep before it ends because I'm tired.

I have come in contact with sooo many people with strong opinions about how people should raise their kids. And to them I say, thanks for the info. Then I do what I do.