future separation anxiety

Our wonderful neighborhood is losing one the families that makes it so wonderful. Our dear friends, the Higerds, are moving away. And it's not like they're moving out of state or two and a half hours away like my sister who left me for goats and chickens in Bakersfield. They're only going to be like an hour away.

But still. Mari has been just a few doors down for the last 5 years. When my life went from normalish to totally insane, she was there, going totally insane with me. When the kids and I do anything like go to the pool or the park or the zoo, they just assume that Mari and her posse will be there too. And when we are all alone at a park they ask, where's Mari? And then I have to explain to them that sometimes people just do things as a family and they get confused because they don't really know what that's like.

Okay I'm going to be fine. I'll just be like all the other moms who plan playdates and hang out with friends when I invite them over for dinner or a morning at the pool or something. It's going to be fine. But I'm not happy about this. Not even a little bit.

I have to say this though. I know that God brought the Higerds into our neighborhood. They have been such a huge blessing to us and our kids. But I think that God brought Mari into my life because He knew I needed her. I know that's a teeny bit narcissistic to think it was all about me. But I'm totally convinced that our friendship has kept me from killing a child. So basically God brought Mari into my life for my kids' protection. Kidding! But seriously. It has been a giant gift to have such a kindred spirit living so close to me. I've been spoiled.

Okay that's enough of that. There are so many great pics to share from the last 5 years. They are kind of in order.

In case you can't understand her, she's talking about how she only wants to play at Grace's or watch TV cuz Grace's legos (and iPad) are way better than hers. 

know thyself

Now that I am in my late 30's, I feel like I'm really getting to know myself. I can clearly name my strengths and weaknesses; things that make me happy and things that don't.

I am made a certain way. God made me more practical than creative. More laid back than anxious. More positive than negative. More extrovert than introvert. I lack mom skills like creativity, empathy, affection and patience. I'm not a good housekeeper and I'm kind of all over the place when it comes to getting anything done. But that doesn't mean I'm not exactly the mom God created me to be for my four little people.

In my 20's I thought adult ladies should be good at certain things. It sounds dumb I know. But I really think I believed that. Now I realize that is so very incorrect. We are all designed to be incredibly different.

For instance, I don't enjoy putting a whole lot of effort into hosting parties. I love spending time with loved ones. I even love having people over. But I have found that paper plates and plastic utensils are more my speed than matching china and cute table centerpieces.

My sister loves to decorate her amazing long table for Thanksgiving. She takes the extra time and effort like putting each family member's picture where she has chosen for them to sit. She is great at making things look amazing and it brings her joy to do it. And it makes others feel special. That would totally stress me out and I would not enjoy it. That's not one of my gifts. When Dan and I got married, I suggested we elope so I didn't have to plan a wedding. We compromised and went to Hawaii and kept it super basic.

I do however think I am good at making people feel comfortable in my home and creating a clean, laid back space for them to hang out in. Both ways are great but Wendy and I have separate gifts and we've learned to use them accordingly.

I've learned that I'm not into fashion. I just want to wear something that looks cute and is comfortable. Heels are dumb. I can't even walk in them. Wearing my hair down makes me want to pull it out. I'm not a fancy lady. Most days, I'm a flip flop, messy bun with a tiny bit of mascara lady. I refuse to sacrifice comfort for fashion. And Dan has really appreciated that I can get ready in 2 minutes.

I've also learned that I'm not crafty. If I put forth the effort, I could probably make something pretty cool but it doesn't really bring me joy to do it. Sometimes I make cards because I don't want to take four kids to the store with me. That's just being practical. Plus it saves money. The cost of cards is ridiculous these days.

I have seen some amazing crafty things made by friends that made me wish I could knit or sew or scrapbook. But then I remind myself that that's their gift, not mine. I probably wouldn't really enjoy sitting on the couch for an hour while knitting slippers. I tried learning to sew and had no patience for it at all. Maybe I will later in life. I'm not one of those moms who makes cute little homemade gifts for the teachers and puts together little gift bags to hand out on holidays. I'm totally fine with that.

I do love to plan and organize. Filling out my giant dry erase calendar each month makes me more excited than I care to admit. And I love writing in my bullet journal. If you don't have one, google it. It's basically an organized way to jot down notes. I find myself smiling while I write my master Costco list.

And my whole adult life I felt like I should be someone who reads books. The truth is I would much rather watch the movie. I get about one third through any book and lose interest. But that's cool. I'm not a reader. Not sure why I thought I should be. Probably because I equated books with being smart. That may be true but that doesn't mean I need to read books. If I'm not smart by now, I don't think reading books is really going to help.

I'm not sure why it has taken me this long to figure out that it's okay that I don't like doing certain things but I'm glad that I'm aware of it now. It makes life a lot easier. Now that I've given myself permission to be exactly the way God made me, it has become easy to say no to things that I don't like doing and yes to things that matter to me. And I'm more patient with myself when I'm not good at something. It's just not one of my strengths.

If you're like me and you are slow to realize these things, start paying attention. It's fun getting to know yourself.

Oh and you can take this personality test if you are in to that kind of thing. I'm an ESFJ, The Consul.

Sorry if this was more Amie info than you really wanted. But it's my blog. So yeah.

walmart, beaches and summer

So I have to admit, I've never been a fan of Walmart. Is anyone? The only good things I've ever seen in Walmart are the low prices amaright? It makes me feel icky to enter a Walmart even though I'm slightly entertained by the people I see there. BUT. BUT! They offer something no one else is offering to me these days. FREE GROCERY PICK UP!! Life changing. Especially when you have four little people you HATE taking to the grocery store with you. Love the kids. Hate taking them to the store. You just have to order $30 or more in groceries and you can drive up to the grocery pick up spot and the Walmart person will be out there with your groceries in one minute or less. Seriously. Life. Changed. Angus did throw a tiny fit because he thought we were going in the fun food store and he had to stay in the car while we drove there and back. But his little fit was totally worth it. He would have thrown 10 more fits in the store if I actually took him in.

Mya and I took a little 2 day trip to the beach and back. She never really gets me all to herself so it was pretty special for us both.

She recently discovered Shirley Temples.

Heaven.

Mya after two shirley temples and endless ice cream... buzzing with silly energy.

Summer is in full swing around here. 

Addie gets mad at me about 20 times a day. At night when I tell her to brush her teeth and get her PJ's on she tells me how mean I am and often punishes me by not giving me a hug or kiss good night. But then about 15 to 20 minutes later she comes and finds me and tells me I'm the best mom ever, hugs me, and heads back to bed.

It's day 3 of Vacation Bible Adventure. Three out of four of my kids are attending this year so that's nice. I swore I would never be a leader for the group of 4 year olds again but here I am doing it for the second time. Mostly because Addie and my nephew Ethan are in my group. And I kind of forgot how exhausting it is. It's like trying to get 56 kittens to go from point A to point B. But it is oh so entertaining. There are shy sweet ones, emotional ones who start crying every 20 minutes or so, oblivious wandering ones, super feisty ones, energetic playful ones and there are always a few runners. Thank goodness for teenage boys that we can send after them. Addie is the tiniest one of course. The kids are loving it as always. 

And Happy almost Father's Day to this guy!

life is better with a soundtrack

Music has has helped me keep my sanity since the beginning of motherhood. It started in the delivery room when I was ready to have baby Mya. I made a labor playlist to keep the mood calm and peaceful. I am a lover of all music. It is something that has always brought me joy. I've used music to improve so many boring or annoying situations or tasks. Like when Mya was a baby and it would take me 20 minutes of vigorous rocking to get her to sleep every single time, I started turning on music and instead of walk-bouncing around the quiet house in the same loop over and over again I would just dance around the kitchen with her in my arms until she fell asleep.

And these days, when it's time for the kids to pick up their toys, I turn on the Kids Bop station and it really changes their attitude and makes it more enjoyable for them. And in the morning after I have my coffee and wake up a little bit, I turn on some mellow music and empty the dishwasher. I hate emptying the dishwasher. It is my least favorite chore. But I actually kind of enjoy doing it with music on. It's way more fun doing the dishes while belting out hymns in the morning.

I encourage you to make an upbeat playlist for times that you need motivation and a mellow playlist for those times when you need a little more peace. Amazon has playlists you can use too. They're actually pretty good. They even have a cleaning playlist.

That's all I got this week. 😊