upside

I'm kind of sick of talking about how much COVID sucks. Let's talk about the upside to things right now.

1. The air outside is cleaner than ever. I've been enjoying a run every day this week. And by run I mean the slowest possible trot accompanied by a frequent walk and the feeling of overwhelming exhaustion but I just started "running" regularly so I'm sure it will improve. My thankful thing this week is my running pants with side pockets that hold my phone. Best invention ever. I turned them into cutoffs since the weather has heated up just a tad.

2. Also, my house is clean despite the fact that we had to cancel our cleaning lady this month. I have time to clean toilets now. Lili, my cleaning angel, does a way better job but I can fill in when needed.

3. My laundry is all done. Turns out the answer to all my laundry problems was just to never leave the house.

4. We are spending WAY less money according to Dan. I don't really pay attention to that stuff. I'm just a frugal shopper. He manages the finances. Money management isn't really my thing. But with me never leaving the house I'm way less likely to spend money on anything. Online shopping is nowhere near as fun. It'll have to do for now I suppose. 

That's all I have for now...

Dan and I played beat the parents with the big girls. Fun game. We read the question, "What sport does Tiger Woods play?" Winter replied, "I don't know what a Tiger Woods is but I love that name." Winter has an obsession with all wild cat things.

I'm not sure who these rules are aimed at but I swear I've never farted in her room.

Speaking of farting, these two had gas so I told them to do this. Actually, I think just one of them had gas and the other one was there for moral support. A friend told me a long time ago that this is how you are supposed to get gas out. Something to do with gravity and gas bubbles... Now you know.

Sometimes I put the dogs in charge of the kids and sneak up to my room and color while listening to my favorite podcasts. Having earbuds in my ears drowns out the noise coming from the litter of children I chose to give birth to. 

Angus: Addie, Addie, Addie!

Addie: Ugh stop calling me Addie. Call me Sis. That's what people call their sisters.

Angus: No I don't like Sis. Your name is Addie.

Addie: How bout Foxy Miss?

Angus: Oooookay Foxy Miss.

Angus is dressing himself these days so things are often backward. Addie is also dressed in Angus's clothes cuz why not.

A friend told me about how blue Dawn gets grease stains out of clothes. It totally works. I guess the blue one is the best? Just cover the grease spot with dawn, rub it in a little bit and toss it in the washer. The after picture looks just like this, except without the stain, obviously.

We got new dishes at Ikea a few months ago when we remodeled the kitchen. I have to say I'm impressed. They are so sturdy. Not one of them has chipped yet and I've definitely accidentally banged them around quite a bit. And the kids use them daily and still no chips, knock on wood. But I thought I'd share in case you're looking for some affordable nice sturdy new dishes. We chose the FARGRIK ones. You can find them at Ikea.com. 

Well that's it for today. Stay safe and stay cool. Happy Saturday!

still here

I think I must have gone through the stages of quarantine or something... panic, confusion, hoarding, anxiety, denial, sadness and I think now I'm in the stage of acceptance. For now at least. This week was good. It helped that the sun was out. We are all kind of getting used to our new weird life. The kids and I ran some errands Thursday. They were all so happy to go for a drive. They rolled down the windows and checked out the scenery and cars passing by. Nothing new going on here. The kids are doing online school, Dan's doing outside projects and I'm doing... laundry, dishes, helping with school work and running the occasional errand. But mostly I just stared at the puzzle below putting in a piece about every 15 minutes or so. I've been walk-running when Dan's home. I run every other song and walk every other song. I'm not fully ready to commit to a full run yet. 

Favorite quotes this week: 

Winter: Can we just pause Coronavirus so I can give baby Eric a hug? (Our little next-door neighbor)

Ten minutes after driving through CVS to get some prescriptions, Addie asked: Can I have my fries now? Not super observant, that one. 

Winter loves her some cucumbers. After she uses them to relax, she eats them.

The night before Easter, Addie wanted me to read the Easter story from one of her favorite kids' storybooks. It inspired her to build a tomb in her bed to sleep in just like Jesus did. She was so excited to wake up Sunday morning, emerge from the tomb and celebrate Easter.

We watched church on TV in the morning then we did an Easter egg hunt downstairs since it was sprinkling outside. After the hunt it looked like we were robbed. They tore the place apart. I made them all raise their right hand and promise not to fight, cry, break stuff or complain. I think it helped but there were still tears in the end when certain kids didn't get as many as others. They were over it quickly and opened up their eggs.

Photo credit: Mya

I love watching Dan and Angus work together. Angus is very serious about it.

I like to send the kids down the street to the grassy area by the mailbox for picnics. Just far away enough that they are out of earshot but I can still see them. 

I introduced Winter to friendship bracelets. 

Mya was so bored that she separated the legos into colors.

We're avoiding Costco right now and my shampoo was getting low so I took a bunch of half-used shampoo bottles I've been storing in my bathroom cabinet and combined them into this big guy. That's what I did Tuesday.

This puzzle had its ups and downs and I learned a lot. If I had to do it all over again, I wouldn't. Thanks Auntie Wendy! #deathbysloth

These two have become closer through this whole thing if that's possible.

Recommendations this week:

I love these veggie buffalo wings. These have the texture of a chicken nugget. They are crunchy on the outside and they have a little kick. They aren't that spicy. I'm kind of medium spice person. I can't take stuff that's too spicy and these aren't too much for me. I cook them in the toaster oven so they are crunchy on the outside. I usually put them in salad. You can find them in the frozen section of most grocery stores. I get them from Walmart pickup these days. 

These are the best cookies I've ever made which isn't saying much because I don't usually make cookies. But I've eaten cookies my whole life and I'm really happy with these. We're going on the 3rd day and they are just as good as they were the first day. Here's the recipe. 

https://www.allrecipes.com/recipe/10813/best-chocolate-chip-cookies/

Instead of two cups of chocolate chips, I used one cup of white chocolate chips and one cup of broken up Hershey bar pieces. That's what I had in the pantry. Oh and also I only had a half cup of brown sugar instead of a full cup so I just added more white sugar instead. And I toasted the walnuts on the stove so it gave them that toasted taste. Also, I only baked them for 9 minutes instead of 10. The texture is perfect. I can't stop eating them which is a problem. It's fine because I don't really need to fit into tight jeans right now. Sweats are very forgiving.

My TV recommendation is Self Made, season one on Netflix. It was really good. I recommend it. And I rewatched "About Time" on Netflix. It's such a feel-good movie. I'll probably watch it again. I rarely rewatch movies but it really makes me appreciate the little things in life that I love.

That's it. I hope your weekend is filled with good things and thankfulness. I'm thankful that on Wednesday things are going to start heating up and it'll be in the 80s for like a week which will feel like summer and summer reminds me of barbeques, swimming and warm summer nights when the kids play outside until bedtime. 

Happy Saturday!

Lamentations

This may be the most honest post I've ever written. Writing is therapeutic for me so I started writing, not knowing if I'd post it or not. If you're feeling the way I'm feeling, I hope this brings you some comfort.

Guys, I'm going to be pretty real with you. Yesterday was a low. Nothing awful happened. But I felt like I couldn't ignore the suckyness anymore. I haven't really been able to let myself feel too upset about this whole thing. I've tried to be thankful because there are so very many who have it so much worse than I do. I've heard and read so many heartbreaking stories that I can't bring myself to read any more. People are really suffering. I have this nice home and this great community for my kids to play in and Dan still has a job that provides well for us.

But in the last few days I've found myself affected more and more. I've never been one to fake how I'm feeling. I'm not the type of mom who puts on a smile for her kids and makes them pancakes when I'm secretly feeling awful. When I'm mad, everyone knows it, even the neighbors. Yesterday I'm not sure I smiled once. It's been raining all week and we've been inside with nowhere to go and this extrovert is really craving face to face human connection. Facetime, Zoom and Marco Polo are nice but not the real thing.

Dan was at work and I am convinced that the kids behave so much better when he is home. I've stopped trying to figure out why. They fought all day from the minute I woke up and never listened the first time when I asked them to do something. They complained about school work, exercise, snacks, dinner and everything else. I went from room to room avoiding them, coming out only to yell at them when the noise level rose. We went outside when the rain stopped and they continued to fight, whine and cry so we went back in.

This morning I slept in, not wanting to face another crappy day. I shut the door and turned on the fan to drown out the noise. Angus is almost 5 and Mya is 10 and super responsible so this is something I've been able to take advantage of lately. I usually only sleep in when Dan is home but today I needed it. The kids finally came in and gently woke me up to tell me they had a surprise for me downstairs.

I came down to waffles, eggs and coffee. Addie drew me a picture and put it next to my plate. They had put away the dishes and filled the dishwasher and ran it again with not an entirely full load of dishes in it. I haven't opened the dishwasher yet to see what they put in there and where they put it.

I'm not someone who cries easily. Dan lovingly says I have a heart of ice. I've heard a few people saying they've had a nice cathartic cry about their new normal and I have to admit I've felt a little jealous. It sounds very helpful.

I ate my syrup and whipped cream covered waffles with sprinkles and my cold overcooked eggs and drank my lukewarm watered down coffee with WAY too much creamer in it and tried to hold back the tears. They were so happy and proud of themselves. Even Angus who didn't really help at all was bouncing around. They wanted me to have a better day they said. After I thanked them and told them how much I loved it all and love them, I reminded them that they are not allowed to use the stove when I'm unconscious and really should have me supervise their coffee making and dishwasher running.

They agreed. Then Winter made all the kids waffles and eggs with whipped cream and sprinkles.

Dan always says that he's so proud of my strength and ability to hold down the fort when he's away. Part of me takes pride in that and tries not to crumble under pressure. And normally I succeed.

But I'm human, and this is hard. After breakfast, I got in the shower and had a nice little cry. I thanked God for my kids and begged him to help me get through this crazy season. After I got out of the shower I immediately felt better. I think in order to start accepting things the way they are, I had to first accept the heaviness of the situation of the world and at the same time morn the loss of things that we've lost as a family. We lost our normal. I lost my normal. I didn't realize how much that would affect me.

I've always depended so much on community. I'm super relational and get my energy and motivation from the last time I've met with my moms group, ladies at church, conversations with friends and being out and about in the community, shopping and socializing. It makes sense that I'm not thriving right now.

HOWEVER, God made us humans resilient. Tough stuff also makes us rely on Him more. And although this is not ideal, it's doable with His help. I feel good about the coming months. I know they are going to be difficult and long but we'll get through them.

Lamentations 3:22-23 says: "The faithful love of the Lord never ends. His mercies never cease. Great is His faithfulness; His mercies begin afresh each morning." These days I need those mercies every morning more than ever.

Yesterday was Good Friday when Jesus died on the cross for our sins. Saturday must have been the worst day of the disciples' lives. Their savior was gone. Their lives were flipped upside down and they didn't know what was going to happen to them. Their whole world at that point had been Jesus. And He was gone.

But then Sunday came.

Tomorrow is Easter. What perfect timing. Tomorrow is a celebration for us Christians. Jesus rose from the grave! If you're still reading and you're not a Jesus person, and you feel like you could use some Jesus right now, my church along with tons of others around the world will have sermons online. Ours will be found at www.churchoftheopendoor.com. The cool thing about Jesus is that He loves you even if you don't know or love Him.

Virtual hugs to you all. I can't wait to see you face to face and hear your voices in person.

day fortyteenth

I got on here to start another blog thinking it had been at least 10 days since my last post and it had only been 3. I'm not even exaggerating. So I got off the computer and did some laundry I didn't really need to do. But I'm back now. It's a whole week later and life looks exactly the same.

So many people I've talked to are having a hard time right now whether they are scared, sad, disappointed, lonely, exhausted, overwhelmed or filled with anxiety.

Here's something that's helping me. Just take one day at a time. Simple but really helpful when you stop thinking about next week or next month or summer or when will this ever end? When you just look at the day ahead, it doesn't seem so overwhelming.

If you're a praying person, when you get up in the morning, just pray for today. (If you're not, there's never been a better time to start) And maybe think of one thing that will bring you life today... I keep thinking about how Jesus told us to pray for our daily bread, not our weekly or monthly bread. Obviously go to the store and get what you need for the next week or month or however you're doing the shopping thing but then stop worrying about tomorrow.

Another super timely verse: Matthew 6:34 - "Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." Aint that the truth.

Distance learning wasn't bad this week. Everything is online and the girls are pretty much able to do their assignments on their own. There was one super hard math problem I had to do for Mya that I still don't understand. I just copied the example and was able to solve it. The important thing is that we finished the assignment. Haha kidding, she's learning some things... that's important too. Shout out to all you teachers! You all continue to amaze me. Life threw you a curve ball and even though you've never played baseball you stepped up to the plate, kept your eye on the ball and made contact. Well done. Sorry for the sports analogy. I miss baseball. Go Dodgers.

I've been checking on the kids and asking them how they are feeling about all of this. So far, they seem fine. They have each other so I think that helps when they are missing friends. They have built in besties at home. That's my thankful thing this week. I'm thankful that they get along enough to entertain each other. They do fight of course because they aren't alien children. But they also play together and that has been a life savor for all of us.

Wednesday was April fools. Most people were not in the mood to be fooled because life kinda feels just like one cruel joke right now. But that didn't stop Mya and Winter. They found out about April fools somehow and decided to cover our bedroom in pranks, right before Dan went in there to have a bible study over the phone with some guys from church. They filled our pillows with books, taped over the light switch, drew black spiders on our toilet paper, put our throw pillows under our clothes in the closet, filled the washer and dryer with stuffed animals and put green paint in my face wash. But the best prank was the walkie talkie they hid in the bed that beeped every few seconds. Dan couldn't find it at first so he was pretty mad. Eventually he located it and took the batteries out.

We have gone through an impressive amount of freezer food including frozen fruit I've collected over time for smoothies. We've done a great job using up the food in our fridge too. It makes Dan really happy when we use the food in our fridge and our freezer and not let any go to waste, so he's ecstatic right now.

We've been doing P.E. with the kids... Dan and I have been switching it up with running, bike riding and yesterday I made an obstacle course with jumping rope, pogo sticking, stick horse riding, soccer ball kicking and hula hooping. 

I got tired of walking around in Azusa so I drove to a nice neighborhood in Glendora and went for a walk and found this giant sunflower on the sidewalk.

Angus is still helping Dan with outside projects.

I'm not sure what's going on here but Addie wanted me to take a picture of it.

And now for a few of my favorite memes. I get these from a Facebook group I'm in that has an ongoing thread of funny memes. It's one of the best things ever to come from this dumb virus.

  I realized I didn't include my very favorite meme last time. I think it makes me laugh because Doritos are my favorite chip of all the chips for sure.

It's funnier if you say it really slow. Happy Blursday everyone!