man o man

Yesterday was one of my worst stoned mama mornings yet. Warning: This may bore you.

I was supposed to meet Mya's BFF and her mom at Sante Fe Dam at 10:00. I pushed it till 11:00 because the baby (who hasn't taken longer than a 30 minute nap in the last two weeks) decided to take a 2 hour nap of course. I actually woke her up. I hate doing that. I didn't feed her because I was already running late. 

So off we went to Sante Fe Dam. It's $10 to get in so I stopped by the credit union to make a deposit and get cash out. Well I forgot my ATM card in another purse at home so I panicked for a moment and realized I could probably use my ID to do my banking. Yes. Good. On my way to the dam I realized I forgot to get cash. I just made a deposit. I prayed that they would take a credit card because it's 2014. I got there and handed the guy my credit card. He gave it back and said it was cash only. Ugh. I asked if they took IOU's. They did not.  

Soooooo, I had to turn around and go back home to get my ATM card so I could go BACK to the credit union where I was just 20 minutes prior. As I was looking for the ATM card, I realized it was actually in the car all along. Ugh. Sooooo, back to the credit union and back to Sante Fe Dam, baby screaming from hunger pangs, mama super frazzled. Mya and Winter kept asking when they were going to be able to feed the ducks. Soon guys! Mommy forgot cash. Mya said, "Mommy you're kind of crazy this morning." Thanks Mya. Mya would never forget cash. She reminds me not to forget my phone on a daily basis. It's usually when we're in the car and half of the time I have forgotten it in the house. Ayayay.

We spent 3 hours feeding the geese and playing at the park. I did not get any pics because I was still too frazzled from the trip there.

no fair

My kids haven't hit the "no fair" stage but I'm expecting it any day now. I'm not looking forward to it. As a kid, you expect everything to be totally and completely 100% fair. You want exactly the same amount of cake as the next kid. If your sister gets 5 gummy bears and you only get 4, you've got serious issues.

As an adult, you are a little more reasonable but still expect things to be fair...ish. Dan has recently gone through some very tough stuff at work lately. Both of us have felt angry and confused about it because it just is not a fair situation. But I realized something in the shower last night. (It's where I do my best thinking)

Sometimes life isn't fair. Sometimes, you don't get your way. Sometimes, you work hard and do your best and you are not rewarded. But if life were completely fair, we would be rewarded for every good thing we did BUT we would also be punished for every bad thing we did too. Imagine if there was a cop following you ticketing you for every time you went over the speed limit or rolled through a stop sign. I'm okay with life not being completely fair.

Sometimes you get what you deserve and sometimes you don't. But either way, life is not always fair to everyone.

This whole idea of fair reminds me that there was a man who was treated unfairly and died for sins he did not commit. And he did this so that we wouldn't get what we deserved... death. Christ died so that we could live. Dying on the cross was the ultimate "no fair." But God is totally fair. Kind of awesome how that works.

7 months

Nothing crazy happening. She sits up now. She eats. There isn't yet a food she doesn't like. I'm having fun making food, something I've never done before with the other girls. It's kind of fun cooking for someone who gets excited about everything I make.

lessons

Last week the girls had swim lessons. I watched a couple of times. Pretty entertaining. Mya is doing great now. She is pretty much swimming. She stays in the shallow end and practices her princess paddles (arm strokes) most of the time. Winter isn't really blowing bubbles or doing her princess paddles. But I think she would be okay if she fell in. I'm debating pushing her in and making it look like an accident to see if she can swim to the side like she practiced...

David (the swim instructor) said that Winter hit him the first day. I kind of shrugged and said "Yeah, that's kind of what happens when you make her do something she doesn't want to do, sorry." But she cooperated for the most part. She only tried to run away once.

Here's Mya swimming to the side. I didn't get a pic of Winter. My phone died.

The cops were called because apparently some of my neighbors thought there was some kind of child abuse happening. Mya was screaming and crying the first day so I could see how someone may confuse lessons for abuse. 

a few of my favorite things

It's the little things in life that make me happy...

Drinking a cup of coffee while sitting down and talking with friends.
A long hot shower after camping for a few days.
Enjoying tea and a cookie after the kids are in bed.

Staying up late snuggling and talking with my husband like we did when we were dating.

Toast with avocado

A game of canasta

Sitting up at the top of a ski run before I go down and just taking in the view and the cold air.

Sitting in a jacuzzi with a glass of wine.

Summer nights with neighbors.

Watching fireworks with my kids, watching their eyes get big.

Belly laughs. The ones that are almost uncontrollable.

Baby thighs.
Baby tummies.
Seeing that giant smile when I walk into the room after Addie's had a long nap.

That first bite of a really good sandwich with everything on it.

Playing poker 'till 3AM.

Night swimming (when the pool is warm)

Walking with Dan on the beach by the water at night with just the moonlight guiding us.

Sitting down with my hotdog and beer at Dodger Stadium.

Waking up after a bad dream and realizing everything is ok.

The feeling I get after I finish a long run and begin walking to cool down.

Trader Joe's ice cream cookie sandwiches.

Coldstone's coffee icecream with butterfinger in it.
Ice cold Shock Top Rasberry Wheat Ale. Not too sweet. Perfect.

Hugging Dan after he's been at work for a while.

Watching Mya and Winter play together happily.

The moment after the door closes and Dan and I look at each other and smile because the kids are with the babysitter and we have the next few hours to ourselves.

Floating in a pool, lake, or river on a raft, not a bee in sight.

Snorkling in Hawaii with Dan, coming up for air and he tells me what all the names of the fish are.

Sitting down at a movie theater with candy, popcorn and soda anticipating a movie I'm really excited about seeing.

Going into my kids' bedrooms after they are asleep and giving them a kiss on the forehead and thinking about all the things I love about them. 

Getting dressed up and going out to dinner with Dan to our fav Italian restaurant.
Being on a boat; any boat.
Eating a CPK's barbeque chopped chicken salad with a friend at the Glendale location overlooking Brand Blvd. 

Birthday shopping for clothes all by myself.
When it's raining, getting in my cozy robe and fuzzy socks while drinking something hot and watching the rain fall.

Sitting on a balcony at sunrise overlooking the ocean with a cup of coffee.

Sitting on a balcony at sunset overlooking the ocean with a glass of wine :)

my little testimony

I don't have a really cool story with any near death experiences. I don't even know when it was that I trusted Christ. I was always a Christian as long as I can remember. I was singing Jesus Loves Me before I could talk. I was baptised at 12 and always knew I would believe in Christ all the years of my life.

But for some reason, when I went away to college, a Christian college mind you, I decided to put God on the back burner so I could have a little fun. I was pretty good in high school. I never did drugs or did anything more than kiss my high school boyfriend. I rarely even got a B on my report card. I guess I was just itching to be a bad girl. I wanted to do all those things a good girl never gets to do and I was 7 hours from home so I knew my mom wouldn't know what I was up to. I didn't want to disappoint her.

So there I was, doing bad things at a Christian college, averaging D's in most of my classes and just going down a bad path. I was in a relationship with someone I knew I would never marry and I had no idea what I wanted to with my life. So after 2 years, racking up student loans and going nowhere, I decided I needed to break up with my boyfriend and my school and come home before things got really bad.

At that point, I didn't really have a prayer life. I never opened the bible. I just prayed when things got really bad. Then I met another guy. He was a Scientologist. I liked the idea of dating someone totally different than I'd ever dated before, all Seventh-Day-Adventists. It was a little rebellious and fun at first. That turned into a 3 year relationship with both of us trying to change each other, me trying to convince him that there was a God who loved him, him trying to convince me that Scientology was the way to go. Shockingly it didn't work out. But in the process, the harder he tried to convince me I didn't need Christ, the more I clung to Christ and started building that relationship with Him again.

I can remember the day that I realized that I needed to put my faith in the Lord again and trust him with His plan for my life. I had gone to the beach by myself because things were going south in my relationship with the Scientologist. I really didn't want to let go but I knew that even though he was a great guy, he would never be a Christian and I could never marry him. That day was one of the hardest in my life because I thought I loved him and I thought that I would never find another great guy again.

So there I was, looking at the ocean and realizing that God was so much bigger than me and my little life. I poured my heart out to Him and heard that still small voice tell me, "Amie, I love you. You need to trust that I have someone better for you." So I left the beach that day with a hopeful feeling that everything would be okay. We did end up breaking it off and I was heartbroken for months. I wanted a husband and a family and feared I'd never have one.

If I knew Dan was out there, I would have ditched that other guy so fast without a second thought. But then I wouldn't have learned to trust God with that huge part of my life. It didn't take God long to fulfill his promise. About 5 months later, I met Dan and well, the rest is history. I knew he was the one after a few dates. We were engaged after about a year and a half and started having kids as soon as we got married.

Over the years, my relationship with God has grown tremendously and I've realized what a stupid idea it was to distance myself from Him. I still have a hard time trusting God with his plan for my family's life. I guess in the back of my mind, I think He is so big and there are so many people that sometimes I get overlooked. It's stupid I know. But it is really hard for me to grasp the concept of God knowing each and every little tiny need of billions of people at the same time.

I try to just think of God loving me like I love my kids. That helps. But it still makes my head hurt when I try to figure out how it all works, God having billions of kids and all. But what do I know. He's God. And if he sent his son to die for little old me, I guess I really shouldn't doubt that he wants to see what's best for me.

toys

Most of the time, I go to put the baby in her jumperoo (below) car seat, cradle, pack 'n' play, high chair or bumbo and there is ALWAYS a doll or animal there. It's one of those things I will probably miss when it ends but is super irritating at the moment.

A lot of the day is spent by my girls putting dolls in different spots in the house. She's stuck.

This giant bear (a gift from my sis "Auntie Money") probably weighs more than the girls and is almost impossible for them to carry, yet I find it in a different room every day.