Before I begin, let me just say that I don't write these stories with a smile. Others have found them amusing so I choose to share them. A feeling of panic and a raised heartbeat is my first reaction when thinking about being around bees or anything in the bee family that stings of course. I am not allergic. I wish I was. That way my fear would be justified. I have been stung a few times as a kid and I didn't cry and it wasn't traumatic that I remember. I think my fear developed somewhere between high school and college. My husband always gets so irritated with me when I freak out over such a silly thing. But I can't help it. I've actually learned how to be calm and not flip out completely, but the fear is the same as it was 10 years ago. My friend Kady feels the same way about sharks. I'm so jealous. I never see sharks. That would be the best fear if I were to pick one. Anyway, here are some stories that have happened in the last couple years...
Amy's Farm -
On a sunny Thursday in March, I took my girls to learn about farm life with my MOPS group. At the time, Winter was about 1 and Mya was 2. I brought my double stroller to haul around my toddlers and all the stuff that came with them. Winter was eating pieces of turkey and cheese in the stroller. Mya was walking around with her sippy cup. I noticed a wasp buzzing near by. It started buzzing around the stroller so I grabbed it and quickly backed up to get away. It persisted, landing a few times on the cheese Winter was eating. Another mom commented that wasps like meat and cheese, a new fact to me. So I took the cheese and turkey and threw it as far as I could. I nearly hit another mom who yelled, "Don't throw it at me!" I apologized while still trying to get the stroller away from the wasp. It then took interest in Mya's sippy cup and landed on the top of it. I quickly knocked it out of her hand and picked her up. The wasp then started charging the 3 of us. It began to dart around a bit and seemed like it had a purpose. I was trying to zigzag with the stroller one handed while carrying Mya on my hip. I lost my footing and slipped on the dirt and fell face forward while holding Mya. I put my hands and arms under her to break her fall and managed to bring the stroller down backwards at the same time. Mya cried, Winter cried, and I was all scraped up and bleeding. It was a sight. Somehow, through an act of God I'm convinced, the wasp was knocked to the ground as I fell. Another mom friend quickly stepped on it and reported back to me that it was dead. I heard an encouraging comment from another mom friend telling me that she would have done the same thing. They helped me to my feet and picked the stroller up with my crying 1 year old in it. Someone took her out and held her to comfort her. I tried to soothe Mya while I recovered from the horror of it all. This all happened in under a minute but I can still remember it vividly. We all survived and managed to enjoy the rest of our day with the cows and chickens.
Bees on the windshield -
A few July's ago, I was planning a surprise party for my Hubby. I was moving long tables and chairs from my house to my friends' house (the party location) down the street. I borrowed my mother-in-law's SUV to carry everything while she watched the girls for me. So I'm driving down the street with all four windows down when my windshield is pelted by about 50 little somethings. My mind immediately went where it always does and I prayed that it was anything but that. I looked behind me to see about 3 or 4 bees crawling on the tables behind me. I immediately went in to panic mode. I looked for a place to pull the car over as I saw another one on my seat inches away from my left shoulder. I leaned forward while squealing something like a prayer or a curse word. I quickly parked crookedly on the side of the road and jumped out. I checked my clothes and took a few deep breaths. Crap. What was I going to do now? I had a car full of bees and a bunch of tables and chairs to deliver. I stood there trying to calm down for a few minutes then tried to think of a plan. I took off my flip flop and started killing them one by one. They were a little stunned from being hit with the windshield so that worked to my advantage. I checked the car over and over until finally deciding to get back in. I couldn't stay on the side of the road all day after all. So off I went. I was still checking behind me and all around while driving the last half mile to my location. Then I noticed a bee on my shoulder! I knocked it to the floor with my hand and stomped on it. Still panicking, I pulled in the driveway and jumped out of the car again. I was frantic when my friends opened the door. They looked at me with sympathy and a smile as I told them what happened. That is pretty much my worst nightmare in a nutshell.
Bee encounter at the carwash -
I took my car to the carwash to get an oil change that came with a free car wash. The guy called me over when he finished drying it and I gave him a $2 tip and got in. Ah, so nice a clean smelling. I love a clean car. Then I heard a faint buzzing coming from the backseat. I looked behind me and there it was, a bee flying around the back window. I jumped out of the car and yelled for the guy that I just tipped. "Excuse me!" I said in a desperate voice. "There's a bee in my car." I was hoping he would take pity on me but he just looked at me like I was stupid. I quickly added, "I'm allergic." A total lie, but it just came out. "Ooooh" he said and nodded. He came over, opened the door and shewed it out. Then he said with a smile, "Okay?" I thanked him and hesitantly got back in. I should have given him a bigger tip. I'm sure bee removal is not part of his job. I looked behind me the whole way home.
Bee-flicking
This summer we've spent many hours by the pool. I love and hate the pool because it is such a great place for the girls to hang out with their friends and get really nice and tired before nap time. I enjoy a good dip as well. However, the pool area always comes with bees unfortunately. But I try not to let my fear of bees interfere with my life too much. So the other day, I told my friend to send her kids over and I would watch them while she finished up a project. All the kids were hanging out, totally oblivious to all the bees lurking in the flowery bushes, but I am always on the lookout. I noticed one flying around my friend's kid's feet. It landed on her toe. Crap. Normally I would just tell her mom, hey there's a bee on your kid's toe and let her take care of it but I couldn't do that. She was my responsibility. I yelled at her not to move. I quickly went over there and filled with fear, said a quick prayer and flicked it off her toe. The bee flew away and I saved her toe. This was so huge for me. I was so pleased with myself. A very proud moment I will not forget. Another friend at the pool commented "good job." I beamed and thanked her. Well done Amie.
*These stories are dedicated to my friend Caitlin who is actually allergic to bees and can appreciate my fear.
I had to share Caitlin's reply. Made me laugh because it is something I would totally do: "Oh, man! Those bastards, they make total fools of us! I pulled over on the highway once because I heard bees buzzing in my car. Turned out to be my phone vibrating in the cup holder..."
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