sleepy prayers

I know that I should be in the bible daily and I would love to. Ideally I would spend an hour in the morning studying my bible and praying. But most nights, I don't get enough sleep, so waking up before 6:00AM when the baby wakes up (sometimes 5:30) just ain't happening. Sometimes I am too exhausted and overwhelmed to even read a short devotion. I read the bible when I can and read devotions via email but that is not a daily thing for me. 

Yes, I have time to blog but it is usually interrupted by a baby needing something new to play with so mommy gets 5 more minutes on the computer or Winter needing her hiney wiped or Mya needing help spelling something so she can write a card to her best friend. I just don't think a bible study in 3 minute increments is beneficial to anyone. 

Nap times and bedtimes are when I can do laundry, dishes, sweep, eat, pee (seriously), shower, have an uninterrupted conversation with the hubby or catch up on texts and emails (only the important ones)... and all the other things that have to be done daily.

So realistically I think I would have to be superhuman in order to have a 60 minute bible study or prayer time. The thing is, I NEED God. I NEED His help. I NEED the Holy Spirit to guide me through my crazy day. Otherwise, I'm just a psycho, yelling, mean mommy reaching my breaking point every day. 

So recently, I thought to myself, How can I spend time with God everyday, realistically? How much time can I give Him? I came up with this. This is the bear minimum:  What I've been doing lately is when I get into bed, right before I close my eyes and fall asleep, I think about what it is that I'm struggling with. As a mom, I know I'm not alone when I say I need help with my bad attitude, I need more patience, less anger, a lot less yelling, and more loving my kids and teaching them about God's love. 

So I say a prayer. Sometimes I don't even get through a full prayer before I fall asleep. That is how tired I am most days. Some days I have enough energy to write out the prayer in my prayer journal I keep by my bed. Some nights when I feel like being a prayer-overachiever, I remember others I need to pray for too. Either way, I am intentionally carving out a few minutes to thank God for his blessings and ask for help where I need it. And at the end of the day when I feel defeated it is nice to tell Him about it. 

And as a result, the next day doesn't get easier, but my attitude is completely different. I experience God's peace and am constantly reminded of the bigger picture. I am raising my kids for God. It is my job to teach them about God's love. And that doesn't always come through when I'm yelling, BE NICE! STOP FIGHTING! HURRY UP! BUCKLE UP! STOP YELLING! haha, you get the picture ;) It doesn't mean I don't yell. But it does take longer to reach my boiling point if I have spent some time with God the night before.

My Heavenly Father loves me and He wants to help me with the things I struggle with. All I have to do is ask for His help.