my way

Babies are tricky. I'm on my third and I still haven't really figured them out. Addie has gone through different stages of how she likes to fall asleep. In her first month of life, she would fall asleep anywhere really. Then she liked to be held upright in my arms, her head by my left shoulder. Then she liked to lay down in my arms where she could see my face and drift off with me walking around the house gently bouncing her. 

Lately, all of a sudden she doesn't like to lay down in my arms, she squirms and fights and cries. It takes much longer to put her to sleep. I keep trying to lay her down in my arms while walking around just as I have done for the last few months. And she keeps squirming and letting me know that she does not want to be held that way.

Tonight, after walking around holding her in numerous different positions, I went up to my bed, exhausted and placed her beside me with her blanky. Then something nice happened, she pulled the blanket up to her face and fell right asleep. All she wanted was to lay down. She didn't want me to rock her. If I would have really paid attention to her, it would have been obvious that she wasn't happy but I chose to ignore my baby and do it my way. 

This reminds me of the way I stubbornly choose to do things my way and ignore God's way. His way is not always clear to me, or I just don't stop and ask. I think I know what is best so I try again and again to live without his input and end up frustrated and confused. All I really need to do is ask him which is the right way and he will make it clear to me.