So, I'm writing myself a letter that a good friend might write to assure me that I'm doing my best and that's good enough. Of course there are always areas where I can improve but I should not feel bad when I don't. I am a work in progress, and any feelings of inadequacy are not coming from the right place. I believe the devil is crafty and uses any way possible to make us feel bad.
So here's a letter to me from me. But if you are where I am (as many of you are), it is a letter to you too.
Dear tired mama,
You do not need to feel guilty for anything. You have continuously prayed for wisdom and patience and your Heavenly Father has heard your prayers. You have come a long way from where you started 7 years ago and The Holy Spirit is still working on you. Keep up the good work and don't let the devil tell you that you are a bad mom, ever.
Don't feel guilty when you feed your kids meals that lack nutrition. Don't feel guilty when you warm up Angus's bottle in the microwave instead of the bottle warmer. Don't feel guilty when all the veggies go bad because you haven't used them. Your kids are happy and healthy. Keep trying to fit in those veggies when you can but don't stress it if it doesn't happen.
Don't feel guilty when you sit on the couch and stare at the growing pile of dishes or laundry. You are tired. You are more tired than you have ever been. It's amazing that you get anything done at all.
Don't feel guilty when you blog instead of fold laundry. You deserve to do something you enjoy. Everyone needs some me time.
Don't feel guilty when you watch TV instead of reading a constructive parenting book. Sometimes there is not any mental energy left to read and comprehend anything. It's okay to simply watch TV.
Don't feel guilty when you take a nap instead of work out. You need rest. You will not have any energy to work out anyway. And if you do, it will make you more tired than you already are. In this season, you need to put sleep before fitness.
Don't feel guilty for not doing fun things with your kids because most of those fun things just sound like hell with a one and two year old in tow. There will be time for those things later. Right now, your sanity is more important than a ride on the Metro or a trip to the zoo. And your kids are having fun just being kids. You're the only one that cares about what they're missing. They have no idea.
Don't feel guilty when you forget a birthday or an important event. You have a lot on your plate. You are raising 4 tiny human beings. And they require every single braincell you've got.
Don't feel guilty that you haven't read the bible in months. God knows your heart. He loves you either way. It makes him happy to see you pour into your children and teach them about Him when you see an opportunity. It makes Him happy that you listen to praise music in the morning before your ears get tired and you can't listen to music anymore. It makes Him happy to hear their prayers before they eat. There will be time soon when you can get up early and read your bible. But for now, just remember that God loves you just as you are. He is not expecting anything from you. He is simply here, waiting with open arms anytime you can squeeze in a 5 minute devotional or a 2 minute prayer.
Don't feel guilty for losing touch with friends. You are putting your family first after all. They should come first. You will have a chance to reconnect again in the next season of life when the kids are all in school and you can meet for lunch.
Don't feel guilty for not being able to give much back to others who are always helping you. Soon you will be able to help them. But now, at this time, take all the help that you can get.
Don't feel guilty for choosing housework over your kids. They are good at laying on the guilt. Your family needs clean underwear and clean forks. Your husband doesn't deserve to live in a pigsty and neither do you.
Don't feel guilty for choosing your kids over housework. They need you too. Sometimes it is okay to lay on the couch and watch Daniel Tiger with your two-year-old. Find a balance between the kids and the housework. There is not enough of you to do everything. Do what you can and don't feel bad about what you simply cannot do.
Don't feel guilty for not being able to give your husband all the attention he deserves. He's not going anywhere. He loves you. And one day you will have nothing but time together.
Don't feel guilty for yelling at your kids. You apologized. They forgave you. Move on and try not to do it next time. You have done really well lately. I have noticed the times when your first reaction would be to yell and throw something but you held your temper and spoke in a calm voice. Well done! Keep trying and keep praying about it.
Don't feel bad for being imperfect in all areas of life. You are a human being. You are a sinner. Jesus died for you so you can be perfect in heaven with Him one day. Until then, do your best, lean on Him and forgive yourself.
Love Always,
Amie
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