no fair

My kids haven't hit the "no fair" stage but I'm expecting it any day now. I'm not looking forward to it. As a kid, you expect everything to be totally and completely 100% fair. You want exactly the same amount of cake as the next kid. If your sister gets 5 gummy bears and you only get 4, you've got serious issues.

As an adult, you are a little more reasonable but still expect things to be fair...ish. Dan has recently gone through some very tough stuff at work lately. Both of us have felt angry and confused about it because it just is not a fair situation. But I realized something in the shower last night. (It's where I do my best thinking)

Sometimes life isn't fair. Sometimes, you don't get your way. Sometimes, you work hard and do your best and you are not rewarded. But if life were completely fair, we would be rewarded for every good thing we did BUT we would also be punished for every bad thing we did too. Imagine if there was a cop following you ticketing you for every time you went over the speed limit or rolled through a stop sign. I'm okay with life not being completely fair.

Sometimes you get what you deserve and sometimes you don't. But either way, life is not always fair to everyone.

This whole idea of fair reminds me that there was a man who was treated unfairly and died for sins he did not commit. And he did this so that we wouldn't get what we deserved... death. Christ died so that we could live. Dying on the cross was the ultimate "no fair." But God is totally fair. Kind of awesome how that works.

7 months

Nothing crazy happening. She sits up now. She eats. There isn't yet a food she doesn't like. I'm having fun making food, something I've never done before with the other girls. It's kind of fun cooking for someone who gets excited about everything I make.

lessons

Last week the girls had swim lessons. I watched a couple of times. Pretty entertaining. Mya is doing great now. She is pretty much swimming. She stays in the shallow end and practices her princess paddles (arm strokes) most of the time. Winter isn't really blowing bubbles or doing her princess paddles. But I think she would be okay if she fell in. I'm debating pushing her in and making it look like an accident to see if she can swim to the side like she practiced...

David (the swim instructor) said that Winter hit him the first day. I kind of shrugged and said "Yeah, that's kind of what happens when you make her do something she doesn't want to do, sorry." But she cooperated for the most part. She only tried to run away once.

Here's Mya swimming to the side. I didn't get a pic of Winter. My phone died.

The cops were called because apparently some of my neighbors thought there was some kind of child abuse happening. Mya was screaming and crying the first day so I could see how someone may confuse lessons for abuse. 

a few of my favorite things

It's the little things in life that make me happy...

Drinking a cup of coffee while sitting down and talking with friends.
A long hot shower after camping for a few days.
Enjoying tea and a cookie after the kids are in bed.

Staying up late snuggling and talking with my husband like we did when we were dating.

Toast with avocado

A game of canasta

Sitting up at the top of a ski run before I go down and just taking in the view and the cold air.

Sitting in a jacuzzi with a glass of wine.

Summer nights with neighbors.

Watching fireworks with my kids, watching their eyes get big.

Belly laughs. The ones that are almost uncontrollable.

Baby thighs.
Baby tummies.
Seeing that giant smile when I walk into the room after Addie's had a long nap.

That first bite of a really good sandwich with everything on it.

Playing poker 'till 3AM.

Night swimming (when the pool is warm)

Walking with Dan on the beach by the water at night with just the moonlight guiding us.

Sitting down with my hotdog and beer at Dodger Stadium.

Waking up after a bad dream and realizing everything is ok.

The feeling I get after I finish a long run and begin walking to cool down.

Trader Joe's ice cream cookie sandwiches.

Coldstone's coffee icecream with butterfinger in it.
Ice cold Shock Top Rasberry Wheat Ale. Not too sweet. Perfect.

Hugging Dan after he's been at work for a while.

Watching Mya and Winter play together happily.

The moment after the door closes and Dan and I look at each other and smile because the kids are with the babysitter and we have the next few hours to ourselves.

Floating in a pool, lake, or river on a raft, not a bee in sight.

Snorkling in Hawaii with Dan, coming up for air and he tells me what all the names of the fish are.

Sitting down at a movie theater with candy, popcorn and soda anticipating a movie I'm really excited about seeing.

Going into my kids' bedrooms after they are asleep and giving them a kiss on the forehead and thinking about all the things I love about them. 

Getting dressed up and going out to dinner with Dan to our fav Italian restaurant.
Being on a boat; any boat.
Eating a CPK's barbeque chopped chicken salad with a friend at the Glendale location overlooking Brand Blvd. 

Birthday shopping for clothes all by myself.
When it's raining, getting in my cozy robe and fuzzy socks while drinking something hot and watching the rain fall.

Sitting on a balcony at sunrise overlooking the ocean with a cup of coffee.

Sitting on a balcony at sunset overlooking the ocean with a glass of wine :)

my little testimony

I don't have a really cool story with any near death experiences. I don't even know when it was that I trusted Christ. I was always a Christian as long as I can remember. I was singing Jesus Loves Me before I could talk. I was baptised at 12 and always knew I would believe in Christ all the years of my life.

But for some reason, when I went away to college, a Christian college mind you, I decided to put God on the back burner so I could have a little fun. I was pretty good in high school. I never did drugs or did anything more than kiss my high school boyfriend. I rarely even got a B on my report card. I guess I was just itching to be a bad girl. I wanted to do all those things a good girl never gets to do and I was 7 hours from home so I knew my mom wouldn't know what I was up to. I didn't want to disappoint her.

So there I was, doing bad things at a Christian college, averaging D's in most of my classes and just going down a bad path. I was in a relationship with someone I knew I would never marry and I had no idea what I wanted to with my life. So after 2 years, racking up student loans and going nowhere, I decided I needed to break up with my boyfriend and my school and come home before things got really bad.

At that point, I didn't really have a prayer life. I never opened the bible. I just prayed when things got really bad. Then I met another guy. He was a Scientologist. I liked the idea of dating someone totally different than I'd ever dated before, all Seventh-Day-Adventists. It was a little rebellious and fun at first. That turned into a 3 year relationship with both of us trying to change each other, me trying to convince him that there was a God who loved him, him trying to convince me that Scientology was the way to go. Shockingly it didn't work out. But in the process, the harder he tried to convince me I didn't need Christ, the more I clung to Christ and started building that relationship with Him again.

I can remember the day that I realized that I needed to put my faith in the Lord again and trust him with His plan for my life. I had gone to the beach by myself because things were going south in my relationship with the Scientologist. I really didn't want to let go but I knew that even though he was a great guy, he would never be a Christian and I could never marry him. That day was one of the hardest in my life because I thought I loved him and I thought that I would never find another great guy again.

So there I was, looking at the ocean and realizing that God was so much bigger than me and my little life. I poured my heart out to Him and heard that still small voice tell me, "Amie, I love you. You need to trust that I have someone better for you." So I left the beach that day with a hopeful feeling that everything would be okay. We did end up breaking it off and I was heartbroken for months. I wanted a husband and a family and feared I'd never have one.

If I knew Dan was out there, I would have ditched that other guy so fast without a second thought. But then I wouldn't have learned to trust God with that huge part of my life. It didn't take God long to fulfill his promise. About 5 months later, I met Dan and well, the rest is history. I knew he was the one after a few dates. We were engaged after about a year and a half and started having kids as soon as we got married.

Over the years, my relationship with God has grown tremendously and I've realized what a stupid idea it was to distance myself from Him. I still have a hard time trusting God with his plan for my family's life. I guess in the back of my mind, I think He is so big and there are so many people that sometimes I get overlooked. It's stupid I know. But it is really hard for me to grasp the concept of God knowing each and every little tiny need of billions of people at the same time.

I try to just think of God loving me like I love my kids. That helps. But it still makes my head hurt when I try to figure out how it all works, God having billions of kids and all. But what do I know. He's God. And if he sent his son to die for little old me, I guess I really shouldn't doubt that he wants to see what's best for me.

toys

Most of the time, I go to put the baby in her jumperoo (below) car seat, cradle, pack 'n' play, high chair or bumbo and there is ALWAYS a doll or animal there. It's one of those things I will probably miss when it ends but is super irritating at the moment.

A lot of the day is spent by my girls putting dolls in different spots in the house. She's stuck.

This giant bear (a gift from my sis "Auntie Money") probably weighs more than the girls and is almost impossible for them to carry, yet I find it in a different room every day.

It's go time!

When you're used to having kids in school, summer is not what it used to be, fun fun fun in the sun. Nope, it's more like the big game. You have to prep mentally and physically. You gotta rally. And once it comes, you have to give it everything you got. Because that team you're playing; they're really good. 

I could stay home and hang out in the AC while the kids play in the morning and get progressively more whiny and annoying as the day goes on. I don't like to let that happen. We gotta be out doin' stuff. That makes for a pretty crazy week but it's better for me mentally and it's better for my relationship with my kids I think. Otherwise, I would just be sarcastic, mean, and probably suffering from short outbursts of frustration like screaming "Dammit! I'm so flippin' irritated!" or yelling at the innocent dogs to "MOVE!" poor guys. When I'm out and about I can't act like that. What would people think? Don't get me wrong. The kids do get more whiny and annoying when we're out too but somehow I can handle it better if there are other adults present...

So yeah, summer is kind of crazy with little ones. I'm already planning my easier days when the girls go to preschool and kindergarten in the fall. I will go running with the baby and grocery shopping with one kid instead of 3... awww it's gonna be so nice. 

Enjoying $1 ice cream (froyo) cones at IKEA. I plan on spending a lot of time here this summer... I go with good ol' Mari of course:)! She's a pro. Good thing too because I think I would actually get lost there. 

Don't worry honey, we won't get ice cream every time ;)

it's love

These two have the most fun together. They play together from sunup to sundown. God knew what he was doing when he created them because they fit together like a puzzle. I'm always amazed at how perfectly matched they are. They fight all the time of course but they love each other so much.

This was funny because Winter kept yelling at Mya from the other end of the pool, "Mya stop splashing me! Mya stop SPLASHING me!" Everyone just kind of looked at Winter slightly confused, especially Mya who was peacefully swimming several yards away and couldn't splash her if she tried. Who knows why that girl says the things she does. I've stopped trying to figure her out ;)

whoa baby

At 6 months, Doc says she is slightly above average, like 55th percentile. Where are these giant babies that are setting the standard? Their "average" may be a little off... She's got too much cellulite to be average!

my dan

Since it's Father's Day, and Dan says I should include him more in my blog since it is an ongoing scrapbook of our family, I've decided to write a very detailed post about the #1 man in my life. You asked for it Honey!

I could go on and on about all the things that make my husband wonderful but that would be boring. Yes he's annoyingly good at everything. He studies his bible and prays. He can fix anything. He's good at sports. He's good with money. He cooks. He cleans. He has a green thumb. He's responsible, generous and caring and puts his family first. He's an amazing dad and an even better husband. He is a loyal friend. He's everything anyone would want in a husband... and a wife for that matter. 

There. Now that that's out of the way, I can get to the fun stuff. I thought I would write a list of things that amuse me about Dan. Here are 50 things you may not know about Mr. Wagenbrenner. I write this post with a smile. I keep it on the QT but I actually love these things about him even though I usually act annoyed. 

• He gets angry at 99.9% of all drivers on the road.
• He secretly wants to run over bicyclists too.
• He will not admit it but he loves his best friend Bill more than anyone else in the world, including me.
• He doesn't like sandwiches. When he has to eat them, he prefers them dry with no mayo.
• If he could eat good sushi, drink beer and watch the dodger game every night of the week for the rest of his life he would.
• He needs a 7-14 day warning followed by a 24 hour reminder if we are going somewhere that he has to talk to people and smile. 
• He would rather talk to women than men because he has "nothing in common with men." (I guess hunting, fishing, camping, drinking beer, and being a firefighter don't count)
• He grows dimples after a few beers.
• Every time we go to Dodger Stadium, he buys a Dodger dog and puts a gallon of mustard on it because he can't stand the taste of hot dogs. 
• He usually skips lunch because nothing sounds good. (probably because he doesn't like sandwiches)

• He likes to eat things that are piping hot and burn his mouth because "it is so good like that."
• He is a member of a duck hunting club but he doesn't like to eat duck. 
• There is not one grocery store within 10 miles that meets his standards. 
• He is grumpy in the morning and super loving in the early evening. 
• He always wants a hug when I am annoyed with him.
• He hugs everyone he likes. Neighbors, friends, waitresses, family...the dogs.
• He cannot pronounce most big words correctly.
• When he is telling me about a call he went on, he cannot remember the gender of the patient.
• He does not remember any of his teachers' names and can only remember half of the schools he attended.
• He wants to get rid of Facebook but he's on it 10 times a day.

• Moms that park incorrectly at preschool are at the top of the list of things that really get his blood boiling. Re-registration preschool fees are a close second. 
• If we are 3 minutes late to church, he's pretty upset. 
• He gets really loving at weddings.
• He secretly has a huge heart and he cries easily.
• He doesn't let me use his keys because I lose them. Same goes for his sweatshirts and sandals.
• If we have a son, he wants to name him Angus after ACDC's guitar player, Angus Young.
• He doesn't want me to buy chips but always asks if we have any.
• He wears an XL shirt when he really should wear a large.
• He doesn't like new socks because they are "too soft."

• He claims to be "easygoing."
• He drinks tea because coffee is too much work to make.
• Homer Simpson is his hero.
• He farts A LOT... almost as much as Addie. And he always says, "Wups, excuse me!" like he's surprised.
• He is very colorblind. Light pink is light blue and light blue is light pink but not always. Red and green lights are interchangeable. It is impossible for him to tell the difference between black and navy blue.
• He has always claimed he has "super sperm" since before we even started trying to make babies... he may be right about that one.
• He has awful handwriting that not even he can read a lot of the time.
• He doesn't like telling people that he's a firefighter.
• He VERY secretly loves to play World of Warcraft. (not so secret anymore!)
• He chews his fingernails and when his fingernails are gone, he chews his fingers. 

• He gets carnitas and a margarita on the rocks with no salt every time we go to Max's. We've gone there about once a week for 7 or 8 years. And he always says, "no salt" two times. 
• He tackles the dogs on a regular basis so that they know he's the boss.
• He has banned stickers, markers, play dough, cups without lids and beads in the house because they make messes.
• He always wants to know who I'm texting.
• He is an extremely loud sneezer. He usually scares the baby and hurts himself. 
• He is very pro-meat and very anti-vegetarianism but secretly loves my fake chicken nuggets.
• According to him, eating meat together 'till death do us part was one of our wedding vows.
• He loves the beach but only goes twice a year because of the sand, saltwater, hot sun, horrible parking and droves of people.
• He loves babies but doesn't have a clue what to do with them.
• He likes to pay in cash at the drive through even though they accept credit cards and it's just as fast.

Honey you are a nut. But you're my nut and I love you just the way you are. Happy Father's Day!!

(This message is Dan approved)

VBA

Vacation Bible Adventure. AKA, babysitting boot camp. Holy moly. I'm exhausted. And I think the kids have never had this much fun. It's such an awesome outreach to the community. The kids have fun and learn about Jesus. They play games, hear bible stories,  make crafts, sing and dance. It was pretty cool watching 360 kids singing and doing the same hand motions to worship songs. It made me tear up a little.

I have been helping with crafts and bible stories for 4-year-olds up to 2nd grade. It has been an eye opener. I realized that Winter is pretty normal when compared to 3 and 4 year old boys. As a whole, the boys are just a tad disobedient. The girls aim to please. Maybe if I would just think of her as a boy, she wouldn't seem so hard to manage...

One day, we had to divide the boys and girls up into two rooms because the girl crafts involved more sequins and sparkles etc. Oh my goodness. The boys worked on their crafts for about 5 minutes then started a game of dodge ball or tag or played with some drums. The girls sat there for the whole 30 minutes quietly decorating their crosses while talking to their friends. Such a difference.

There's Mya, right behind the boy picking his wedgie :)

Winter hasn't napped in over a year. She napped after the 2nd day of VBA :)

Mya's eating her lunch laying down. We don't do that normally...

accident?

Calmoseptine: used for severe diaper rash and other skin problems. Kind of like butt paste but more condensed. Nearly impossible to get off. In just 5 minutes, Dan and I were having a conversation over dinner when we asked the girls what they were doing in the other room. "Nothing!" Mya said. That ALWAYS means something bad. I think they thought it was lotion and kind of freaked out when it didn't rub in easily... 

Dan got really mad. I took pictures. 

Winter: Mama, it's okay, it was an accident. 

I love that you can see Dan with his hands on his hips looking at Winter. He's shaking his head too.

This is the couch cushion. It hasn't been washed in a while so I guess it was time anyway.

spinning out of control

We were at Finkbiner park in Glendora a few days ago. They have a spinning chair that is kind of shaped like an off center bowl. When you sit in it, you start to spin a little. 

Winter loves to push the limits. She loves to go way high on the swings "up to the clouds" and loves to go fast on her bike. She told Mya to spin her around really fast in the spinny bowl thing. I was talking with another mom I met at the park. I looked over to see Mya spinning Winter around and around and didn't really think about it. Then, I looked over again to see Winter's head bobbing in and out as the G force took over. I yelled over to Mya, "Mya, stop!" as I could see poor Winter losing control of her body. Then it happened. Winter was launched out of the spinny chair, flipped over backward and landed on her tummy in the good ol' wood chips. Every kid and mom at the park was staring in amazement. 

She was okay. She cried a little and sat down on a chair for a few, then went back to playing again. In retrospect, it was pretty funny, and impressive. At the time, a tad scary. 

I don't have a pic of the spinny chair but I do have a pic of Winter sitting in some little boy's car. I thought it was cute because typical Winter, drawn to the cool boy toys. As I was snapping the pic I overheard this:

Boy: Hey ummm, that's my car...
Winter: Okay, you can have it when I'm done with it. 

june kid quotes

Mya: When I'm 100, I can carry ALL of you!

Mya: When I'm big like you, I'm going to be a mommy and I'm going to have kids like us! (good luck with that!)

Winter: I really miss Uncle Michael and Daddy.
Mya: I love everybody... Except witches. They are mean.

Mya: I want to have my birthday at Chuck E Cheese again so Winter can ride all her favorite rides. (too sweet)

Mya: (looking at the fruit of the loom label on her shirt) Did you get this at the same store where Daddy buys his juice stuff? (Sprouts)

Me: What should we get Levi for his birthday?
Winter: We can get him necklaces for his mama!

Mya: I hear my heart beeping!

Mya: Mommy, can I have some tape?
Winter: No Mya, you just need to lick the paper.

Winter: (Seeing a man in army fatigues at Target) Why does that man got on his jammies?


Things I've said lately...

What are you putting all over your legs? Is that lemonade?

Stop licking the puzzle.

Get your feet out of the toilet!

friend

Mya: Look Mommy, I made this card for my friend Sara! It has a lot of hearts because I love her.

L + M

This is Liam. He and Mya play together every Wednesday night when we meet for HUB. (bible study)

This may just be the cutest thing I've ever seen.

(you may not be able to view this video on your phone)

train up a child

I had an epiphany today. I was thinking about how I saw a mom in Target correcting her child in a way that I never would. At the time I thought, "You're doing it wroooong..." What a self-righteous thought!

Lately I have been at a loss when it comes to disciplining Winter. I keep trying to figure out the right way to correct her; the right way to punish her. Since I see no progress, I keep racking my brain, trying to figure out why. Do I need to be nicer? Do I need to be meaner? Do I need to spank her more? Should I be more encouraging? More positive? Does she need more hugs? A bedtime story perhaps? What am I doing wrong?

The answer is simple. Nothing. I'm doing nothing wrong. I've decided that as long as I am correcting her in a way that I think is right, I'm doing the right thing. It doesn't matter how I'm doing it as long as I am doing it.

Everyone has their own way of correcting their children. There isn't one right way to do it. There isn't a secret formula that results in well behaved kids. I'm sure there are books out there that have lots of great tips to help your kids listen but that tends to make me think that my kid is a problem that needs to be solved.

I would love for her to just get it and be good. But that's not going to happen any time soon. I think I spend so much time being embarrassed that my child is so defiant; cringing at the thought that other moms must think I'm such a bad mom and wonder themselves what I'm doing wrong. 

And I'm just stressing myself out trying to figure out how to "fix" her so that she doesn't embarrass me anymore. She doesn't need to be fixed. She's perfect the way God created her. And He created me to be her mom. My job is to mold her a bit as she grows in Christ. 

I think a good analogy would be if I were to place a jagged rock with lots of sharp corners into a steady stream. It would probably look the same the next day and maybe even the next month, but with time, that rock is going to change and eventually become smooth.

Thinking back, I don't remember specific words my mom said to teach me to be nice to my brother, obey her and put others first. In fact, I learned a lot by following her example. These are ideas, concepts, a way of thinking. I can't expect someone as hardheaded as Winter to grasp these things right away, especially when every fiber in her being wants to do the opposite. But as long as I keep reminding her, I have faith that she will grow up to be a considerate young lady someday. All I can do in the meantime is pray every day for wisdom and patience. God totally provides when I ask him.

stoned

Being a mom of 3 small children including an infant is like being on drugs...permanently. Ya know how people who smoke pot all the time are kind of out of it and constantly forgetting things? That's what I feel like most days... stoned. One of my friends told me last night that she admired how I was so easygoing with the kids and didn't look stressed out even though Dan was working and I had all 3 girls at our bible study group's end of the year barbecue. And the baby fussed the whole night. I politely thanked her and thought to myself, I just don't have the energy to be stressed out and frankly, I'm half asleep! Mya took advantage of the situation and inhaled about 20 handfuls of Doritos.

Yesterday I completely forgot about a swim/play date I set up less than 24 hours prior. Yes, Stacy, I forgot! (We had a blast with you guys by the way!) I checked my texts and sure enough I had agreed to 10:00 at the pool. I guess I need a reminder at night then maybe another one in the morning?

So we're at the pool and my dear sweet sweet Winter is at the peak of her terrible threes... I'm hoping. She usually spends more time out of the pool on time-out than she does in the pool. Sadly, I'm not exaggerating. Lately her prey has been defenseless 2-year-olds.

Cutie pie Bryn (defenseless 2-year-old) was hanging out in the water, minding her own business in the middle of the deep end (with her floatie on of course) when Winter quickly started swimming toward her with a crazy look in her eyes, kind of like a shark. Brittany (Bryn's mom) also saw it and both of us panicked for a second. Brittany, yelled, "Come here sweetie! Swim toward Mommy!" in the nice sing song voice she uses. I could tell she really wanted to yell, "Swim away!" (like the krill in Finding Nemo) 

There was probably a better way to handle the situation like, "Winter, remember, hands to yourself in the pool!" but because I'm permanently stoned, all I could get out was, "Winter, no no no!" She didn't even do anything but I could see the attack unfolding. The day before that, she tried to push Bryn in the pool because she didn't want Bryn bugging her friends... I don't even know what to say about that.

preschool monkey

This is my favorite preschool craft so far. It's a monkey made out of construction paper, a bag of paper for the body (so it sits on a ledge) and crumpled up brown paper for the hands and legs. Brilliant. Winter keeps taking it down so she can open up the "present inside." I keep telling her there is no present. It's just paper. She made it so it's funny that she thinks there's something cool inside. It's so cute. I think it may be a permanent addition to our family room decor.

at home

In a kid's world, a white surface of any kind mustn't be left white. Waaaay too boring. I think he looks better this way!

This was a team effort. Winter said, kind of to herself..."Why did we color the tiger? We were just trying to make him beautiful."

A baby in the house means unlimited clothes for doll dress-up! Conveniently, I keep having girls so that works out for everyone :)

Why did we go and by a new carseat? Winter still fits in this one! Like a glove.